Things to ponder on Monday morning...

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control

when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds"

when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars, but check when you
say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,

but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use

the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our

ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so,
why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so
why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch

something that's falling off the table you always
manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm
as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four

persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

1 comment:

jc said...

Thanks for a good chuckle this morning.