6.26.2006

It's MONDAY MEME!...
please email suggestions for next week's!

okay, here we go from 'Newsweek'!!

"When I tell people that my wife and I each have separate apartments yet are happily married, I usually get a strange look. I used to rush to explain that ours wasn’t some weird marriage of convenience cobbled together for appearances, like certain
celebrity couples are rumored to have done to advance their careers. Now I don’t bother. Our apartments are both in the same Brooklyn building, on the same floor, two doors down from one another, and we probably spend more time together than most spouses"...

btw, I have a friend who lives apart from her husband even though they are married only on a more extreme level than above story. She lives in Florida and hubby in Michigan!

WEIGH IN! What do you think of this idea!?!


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13 comments:

Hale McKay said...

Is it any wonder that a lot of celebrity marriages don't last?

I think married couples do need some time away from each other now and then, but not to that extreme.

O Ceallaigh said...

Read the biographies of Abraham Lincoln and other luminaries and less so during the 19th century in America, and I daresay you'll find the phenomenon to be common, even prevalent among many marriages. The realities of work for many men, in politics, the law, and many other fields, would have them residing away from their spouses for months, even years. In the cases of the more well-to-do, the women would commonly manage the family estate while the men would take up apartments where they were working (for example, in Washington DC).

There were doubtless difficulties. But marriage was also regarded as more sacrosanct, and also as more of a contract arrangement. Thus, those involved, by and large, tolerated the obvious disadvantages.

In other words, these arrangements were, historically, not all that unusual and were not necessarily looked upon as strange. Perhaps we should take a more careful look at our good fortune, a good fortune that allows us to look with disdain on any circumstance that doesn't match our current fantasies, does not seem to yield perpetual "instant gratification" we seem to demand of almost everything. Including marriage.

Fred said...

It's up to the individuals to make it work. It wouldn't work for me, though.

With divorce rates hovering at 50% or so, many "traditional" marriages are headed for the scrap heap. So, I can't criticize these folks - good for them!

Jolynn said...

I think it's weird. But I guess if it works...

puppytoes said...

where there's a will there's a way. personally i'm not a fan of being separated from my husband--but that's just me!

as O'C points out, historically, this has been a way of life. John Adams was apart from his wife for years when he travelled to Europe at the end of the American Revolution... and his marriage was very important to him. in fact, Abigal was one of his closest confidants, sometimes to the chagrin of his colleagues. nevertheless, in this day and age, it hardly seems necessary to go to such extremes, but i would never rule anything out.

in fact, i think some people are probably better off in different rooms/buildings/states... of course, if they simply can't co-exist in the same room, ya can't help but wonder "what's the point?"

great question, Karen!! xox

jc said...

I always wanted a triplex. Three adjoining apartments with one spouse on the left, a common apartment in the middle, and the other spouse on the right. Takes $$$ though.

Jack K. said...

Marriage is a full time job which takes 100% effort on the part of each parties. It isn't always easy, but it can be worth it.

After 38 years we think ours just may take. We laughingly talk about renewing the contract each year. Some years we forget and it renews automatically.

It is up to the parties to decide what works for them. Who knows, in a few years they may decide to stay in the same apartment.

If it works for them, it works for them, and the rest of us could take a lesson from them.

It may be a recipe for the new "traditional" marriage.

They need to continue to do what suits them best.

Karen said...

hale~ "some time away from each other now and then"...

... like *his* and *hers* offices, that's what we do. :-)

o~ since they didn't have global travel back in abe's day i can understand why that happened.

fred~ nope, it wouldn't work for me, either.

jolynn~ *weird* is a good description.

puppytoes~ "if they simply can't co-exist in the same room, ya can't help but wonder "what's the point?"...

... bingo!

jc~ rotflmao! hee, hee... love your way of thinking!!

jack~ happy 38 years to you and your wife! congratulations!

CROAK said...

After nearly 33 years I couldn't stand it. I miss him when he walks out the door to get the paper. I love him so. He is me, now, after all this time. To think of him not in the same space as me is like drowning in emptiness. He does not make me whole, he is just so much a part of me. After nearly having lost him twice,how could I think it worth while to choose to separate. It is going to happen anyway, one day, without our choice so we enjoy each and every day together.

Sorry I went on. I just feel such sadness for those who choose to be apart. By being and doing together life is sooo sweet.

No judgement for those others just it is different for me.

Karen said...

croak~ well put, my friend.

~cj~ said...

:) You know if I would have commented on that this is just insane. However now that I've been married for seven years myself and have seen many other marriages start and end.... I have a different view. What works for me may not work for someone else. Erick and I like living in the same house and spending time together. I know of a few couples who love eachother very much but can't live with eachother. So... If it means happiness, then who am I to say its wrong? (Although I will still say its goofy.)

Eli Blake said...

I think it's a waste of money. Why not both file single and avoid the 'marriage penalty?'

All I have to say is that if she lives two doors down from him, I pity the poor sap who has the apartment between them, especially when they've been fighting.

Karen said...

cj~ goofy, yes!

eli~ "pity the poor sap who has the apartment between them, especially when they've been fighting"...

...never thought 'bout that! yikes!!