3.11.2006

Okay, you lovers of the English language - this gave me a stitch...HAPPY WEEKEND!!!

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:


1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.


3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.


6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.


7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.


15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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7 comments:

jc said...

These are good! :-)

Anonymous said...

Go Hawkeyes! wOOt! Pistons of the Big Ten.

thanks for the laughs Karen, great list

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Terrific!!

rabsteen said...

genius = #4
props = #14

Karen said...

Thanks everyone for stoppin' by...glad you liked the list!

Phil~ Go Hawkeyes backacha! w00t!

The Phoenix said...

The testicle one cracked me up!

Karen said...

phoenix~ "testicle cracked"...

he, he, he! :o)