Now for some light-hearted Friday Fun!

THINGS STRESSED WOMEN MAY SAY AT WORK...

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry, I forgot your name, too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full, go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes .. Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?

WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAV!?!

Red Wings head home tied at two.
Two key third period goals lifted the Red Wings to a 4-2 victory over the Oilers in Game 4, sending the series back to Detroit tied at two.

Pistons start fast, beat Bucks for 2-0 series lead. Prince, Billups pave way for Detroit; Redd scores 29 for Milwaukee...

From the Flint Journal...

FEELING BETRAYED: Where is the outrage? I'm mad as hell. I'll probably never vote Republican again. Bush lies, spies and now leaks. How dare these wolves in sheep's clothing use our faith to humiliate us? God forgive America.

Kudos to 'jc's designs'

It's MONDAY MEME!...
please email suggestions for next week's!

British billionaire Richard Branson says his Virgin Group is on track to become the world’s first commercial spaceline, with suborbital flights for space tourists due to start in 2008.

Virgin Galactic will offer 'spaceflights' for $200,000, and says it has already received more than 150 firm reservations and taken $13.1 million in deposits. About 45,000 people have expressed an interest in the trips.

Weigh In!... What are your thoughts on commercial space travel!?!


Kudo's to 'jc's designs'

Pistons blow out Bucks
in playoff opener
Rasheed Wallace, Hamilton boost offense, defense shuts down Redd

Updated: 9:59 p.m. ET
April 23, 2006
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. - Make that one win down, 15 to go for the Detroit Pistons on their way to a second title in three years.

OFF SHOPPING... HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!
HAPPY *EARTH DAY*

Maltby's 2 goals give top-seeded Detroit 3-2 win over Edmonton in Game 1

fun facts for friday...
I've been *tagged* by the kewl awesome 'puppytoes' so here goes, ew boy, think she's gonna be sorry she tagged me; the cops will know where to find me now after all these years! :giggle:

6 things you really don't need to know about me...

1. Once upon a time many moons ago, when I was young, I was a hell raiser. Let me 'xplain... I remember driving to Florida from Michigan with one of my bestest girlfriends. Every time we saw *cute guys* we had to show off, of course! One of our tricks was to change drivers, not while the car was stopped, no, what would be the fun of that!?! We did it while driving...back then most cars had bench seats so one of us slid under the other on the driver's side while car was in transport, preferably through the mountains, for effect... you know!

2. Continuing with the 'many moons ago' theme... once in Florida, oh, did we have fun! Stole empty pop and beer bottles and cans from the outside containers (one of us would be the look-out while the other was the thief). So yer wonderin' what did we
need empty bottles and cans fer, or did ya already figger it out!?! CASH, OF COURSE!!

3. Okay, one more... shhhhhhhhhhhh! puleeeeeeeeeze don't tell anyone this... after we got the goods, we hunted down the cops and took them out in the 'boonies' to makeout all night long! What didya think I was gonna say!?! {grin}

4. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT THE MONSTER!! Before we left for Florida, I stole a bottle of wine from my folks' store and we went down by the lake and drank the whole thing and then peed our pants when we saw the *monster* emerge from the lake!

5. Met Bruce Maher of the Detroit Lions at the Northway Bar in Houghton Lake... he bought us drinks all night long and I got smashed! Boy, was that fun... he was a cutie!!

6. By the way, the first 5 happened before I was married... silly you for thinking otherwise! :THE END:

'Detroit produces top teams in both NBA, NHL'

DETROIT (AP) - Hockeytown or Hoopstown?

Detroit is both.

The top teams at the end of the NBA and NHL
regular seasons are from the same city for the
first time, with the Pistons and Red Wings
combining to pull off the feat for the Motor City...

Oh my, my, my, my... I absolutely FREAK OUT during the playoffs... poor hubby ... oh my, my, my, my... two months of drama and excitement ... how much better can it get!?! DEEEEEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL! AND, GO RED WINGS!!

This was in the Talk Back
section of my hometown
paper today...
BUSH'S WISH:
To all of you Bush supporters complaining
about the price of gasoline: Bush wants you to park your car, shut your mouth,
sit at home and praise him for saving Iraq.
Enough said!

Intense and widespread opposition to President Bush is likely to
be a sharp spur driving voters to the polls in this fall's midterm elections, according to strategists in both parties, a phenomenon that could give Democrats a turnout advantage over Republicans for the first time in recent years.

A Post-ABC News 'poll' found that 59 percent of registered voters approve of their own representative, a lower number than in past months. But only 35 percent approve of the way Congress is doing its job. Forty percent said they plan to vote for a Republican in this year's House elections, and 55 percent said they will vote for a Democrat.

Kudos to 'jc's designs'

First Place
Detroit Red Wings
58 wins - 15 losses -
8 overtime losses

Red Wings clinch Presidents' Trophy with League's best record

Red Wings just beat Stars 3 - 2

It's MONDAY MEME!...
please email suggestions for next week's!


Actor Tom Cruise 'says' his Catholic-born fiance, actress Katie Holmes, has joined him as a follower of the Church of Scientology but insists that doesn't mean she can't make noise when she gives birth to their child.

Cruise, 43, addressed questions about the religious faith of his pregnant bride-to-be, the child they are expecting and Scientology's practice of "silent birth" in an ABC News television interview.

Weigh In! How do you feel about the idea of "silent birth"!?!

Kudo's to 'jc's designs'

First Place
Detroit Pistons
64 wins - 16 losses
breaks franchise record!

The Pistons and Detroit Red Wings are the first teams from the same city to finish with the NBA and NHL's best regular-season record in the same season. ... The Pistons also tied a team record with their 37th home win.

Pistons beat Knicks 103 - 97

Politically Correct Terms For Males:

He does not have a beer gut: He develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He does not hog the blankets; He is: Thermally unappreciative.
He is not unsophisticated; He is: Socially malformed.
He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from: Reverse bulimia.
He is not a sex machine; He is: Romantically automated.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; He has: Swine empathy.
He is not quiet; He is a: Conversational minimalist.
You do not undress him with your eyes; you have an: Introspective pornographic moment.
He is not afraid of commitment; He is: Monogamously challenged.
He does not have a fabulous rear end; He has achieved: Buttocks perfection.
He is not stupid; He suffers from: Minimal cranial development.
He does not get lost all the time; He discovers: Alternative destinations.
He is not balding; He is in: Follicle regression.
You do not buy him a drink; you initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange.
He does not fart and belch; He is: Gastronomically expressive.
His jeans are not too tight; He is: Anatomically under circulated.
He is not a Redneck; He is a: Genetically-related American.
You do not kiss him; you become: Facially conjoined.
He is not a cradle robber; He prefers: Generationally differential relationships.
He does not get falling down drunk; He becomes: Accidentally horizontal.
He does not act like a total jerk; He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion.
He is not short; He is: Anatomically compact.
He does not have a rich daddy; He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He does not constantly talk about cars; He has a: Vehicular addiction.
He does not have a hot body; He is: Physically combustible.

Feel free to add your expertise to the above list!

Politically Correct Terms For Females:

Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.
She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.
She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic.
She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.
You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

(stay tuned tomorrow for "Politically Correct Terms For Males" and feel free to add your expertise to the above list!)

hmmmmm, any comments, captions...

loaded question, huh!?!

The "Party of Hate" garbage has started!

Here's what I just received in the mail from a Republican
State Rep. candidate:

Do You Believe...

...Marriage is a union between one man and one woman?

...Family is the foundation of our society?

...Killing the innocent is wrong?

...There is an alternative to abortion where everyone wins?

...By devaluing one human being we devalue all human life?

(the rest of the blah, blah, blah, pertains mostly to Michigan which is very interesting since the Republicans control the Senate and State Legislature)

...Raising taxes to fund pet projects or finance wasteful spending is wrong?

...The recent Supreme Court decision on private property rights and eminent domain needs to be addressed immediately? (so, okay, why haven't you!?!)

...Over taxation and over-regulation have hurt Michigan's economy?

...It's time for Lansing (our capital) to do with less so you can keep more of your hard-earned money? (ROTFLMAO!
Helllllllllo! you ARE LANSING!!)

...We need to safeguard the second amendment which gives law abiding citizens the right to "keep and bear arms"?

...Government was established to uphold justice and punish evildoers?

...It's not too late to MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

YOUR SUPPORT ...YADDA, YADDA, YADDA.......!!!!!

'THE LEAKER IN CHIEF'

Do you think President Bush
authorized Scooter Libby

to link classified information?
*4713 responses

Yes
90%

No
5.8%

I don't know
4.4%

hmmmmmmmm, don't suppose the leaker info had anything to do with this!?!...
Bush job rating at new low, 'poll' finds 60 percent disapprove of president’s performance.

It's MONDAY MEME!...
please email suggestions for next week's.


Here's a new twist scammers are using to commit identity theft... the 'jury duty scam'. Here's how it works:

The scammer calls claiming to work for the local court and claims you've failed to report for jury duty. He tells you that a warrant has been issued for your arrest.

The victim will often rightly claim they never received the jury duty notification. The scammer then asks the victim for confidential information for "verification" purposes.

Specifically, the scammer asks for the victim's Social Security number, birth date, and sometimes even for credit card numbers and other private information — exactly what the scammer needs to commit identity theft.

So far, this jury duty scam has been reported in Michigan, Ohio, Texas, Arizona, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Oregon and Washington state.

It's easy to see why this works. The victim is clearly caught off guard, and is understandably upset at the prospect of a warrant being issued for his or her arrest. So, the victim is much less likely to be vigilant about protecting their confidential information.

In reality, court workers will never call you to ask for social security numbers and other private information. In fact, most courts follow up via snail mail and rarely, if ever, call prospective jurors.

Action: Never give out your Social Security number, credit card numbers or other personal confidential information when you receive a telephone call.

This jury duty scam is the latest in a series of identity theft scams where scammers use the phone to try to get people to reveal their Social Security number, credit card numbers or other personal confidential information.

It doesn't matter *why* they are calling — all the reasons are just different variants of the same scam.

Protecting yourself is simple: Never give this info out when you receive a phone call.

Weigh in... what stories have you heard and/or how has identity theft personally affected you?

Kudo's to 'jc's designs'

WOW!
We're close
to the
10,000 guest visitor...
let me know
if you are
NUMBER 10,000!

GRADING PAPERS

Can you imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her
desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know
the bible even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Catholic elementary school test where kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.

2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah.

6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.

7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

8. the egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.

9. The first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.

10. the seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reached canada. Then joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.

12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

19. Esus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.

23. One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which; is another name for marraige.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Alberto Gonzales spoke before law students at Georgetown today, justifying illegal, unauthorized surveillance of US citizens; but during the course of his speech the students in class did something pretty gutsy and brave. They got up from their seats and turned their backs to him. Additional students came into the room wearing black cowls and carrying a simple banner written on a sheet.

Fortunately for him, it was a brief speech followed by a panel discussion that basically ripped his argument in half. And, as one of the people on the panel said, "When you're a law student, they tell you that if you can't argue the law, argue the facts. They also tell you if you can't argue the facts, argue the law. If you can't argue either, apparently, the solution is to go on a public relations offensive and make it a political issue... to say over and over again "it's lawful" and to think that the American people will somehow come to believe this if we say it often enough. In light of this, I'm proud of the very civil disobedience that was shown here today." - David Cole, Georgetown University Law Professor

It was a good day for dissent.

btw... click on pic to enlarge for full effect!

EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!

WHAT MORE WOULD YOU

ADD TO THIS LIST!?!

Kudos to 'jc's designs'

ABC News producer suspended over e-mail ~
Message from 2004 states ‘Bush makes me sick’...


NEW YORK - The executive producer of “Good Morning America Weekend” has been given a one-month suspension after an 18-month-old e-mail critical of President Bush was leaked to the press.

ABC News made the move Friday, though spokesmen at the network declined comment.

John Green’s e-mail dated Sept. 30, 2004, apparently was written during a George W. Bush-John Kerry debate. One read: “Are you watching this? Bush makes me sick. If he uses the ’mixed messages’ line one more time I’m going to puke.”

The e-mail appeared two weeks ago on the Drudge Report and has been the talk of the Internet. Green apologized well before the suspension occurred. He has been executive producer of the show since 2004, when it began.

You know me by now that I can't let this one pass without asking the question...

SHOULD JOHN GREEN HAVE BEEN SUSPENDED OVER THIS!?!

Okay, here
we go with today's MONDAY MEME! And,
oh, btw... please email suggestions for next week's.


KANSAS CITY, Mo. - A federal judge agrees: Sexy signs just have no place near the highway.

The case came before the court when John Haltom, who owns 10 stores that sell lingerie, sex toys and adult videos in six states, filed a lawsuit last year against the attorney general's office.

He took issue with a law that prohibits most signs for sexually oriented businesses from being posted within a mile of the highway. Any business that devotes more than 10 percent of their display space to sexually oriented merchandise faced the
restrictions.

Haltom said the billboard law is too broad and curtails his right to commercial speech. He also said that while his businesses devote between 10 percent and 25 percent of its display space to sexually oriented items, the law was too broad to consider his locations as adult businesses.

But Fenner, who has upheld the law in past challenges, disagreed.

He also said that the law bans advertising for a store's sexually oriented business, not the store itself. It could still post billboards advertising its non-adult items, if it chose.

State Sen. Matt Bartle, who spearheaded the legislation, said he was confident the law would survive, but predicted more challenges.

Weigh in... what do you think of the law? How do you feel when you are driving along and encounter sexually oriented billboards near the highway?

Kudos to 'jc's designs'

Now for some weekend fun...

A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage."

The clerk looked at him and asked, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

"Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

"Or if I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?

"Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?

"Would ya, huh? Would Ya?"

The clerk says, "Well no."

"And if I asked you for some Irish Whiskey, would you ask me if was Irish?

"What about Canadian Bacon, would you ask me if I was Canadian?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't."

With self-indignation, the guy says: "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I asked for Polish Sausage?"

The clerk replies: "Because you're at Home Depot."