4.14.2006

Politically Correct Terms For Females:

Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
She does not get drunk, she is accidentally over served or she becomes verbally dyslexic.
She does not get PMS, she becomes hormonally homicidal.
She does not hate sports on TV, she is athletically biased.
She does not have a great butt, she is gluteus to the maximus.
She does not have a hard body, she is anatomically inflexible.
She does not have a killer body, she is terminally attractive.
She does not have big hair, she is overly aerosoled.
She does not have big hooters, her cups runneth over.
She does not have great cleavage or a great rack, her breasts are centrally located.
She does not have sexy lips, she is collagen dependent.
She does not shave her legs, she experiences temporary stubble reduction.
She does not shop too much, she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.
She does not snore, she is nasally repetitive.
She does not sun bathe, she experiences solar enhancement.
She does not wear too much makeup, she is cosmetically oversaturated.
She does not work out too much, she is an abdominal overachiever.
She does not: Get Drunk, She becomes Verbally Dyslexic.
She is not a bad cook, she is microwave compatible.
She is not a bad driver, she is automotively challenged.
She is not a gossip, she is a verbal terminator.
She is not a Perfect 10, she is numerically superior.
She is not cold or frigid, she is thermally incompatible.
She is not easy, she is horizontally accessible.
She is not hooked on soap operas, she is melodramatically fixated.
She is not too skinny, she is skeletally prominent.
She will never gain weight, she will become a metabolic underachiever.
You do not ask her to dance, you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

(stay tuned tomorrow for "Politically Correct Terms For Males" and feel free to add your expertise to the above list!)

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8 comments:

ffff said...

Thank heavens you added your parentheses or I was going to be just too shocked for words!hehe
I will enjoy the next lot more!

Jack K. said...

I can hardly wait. tic sarcasm. lol

The Phoenix said...

She is not ugly, she is aesthetically challenged.

puppytoes said...

she has not just been tagged, she's been gently bumped on her blog by a friend!

i'm with jack...can't wait to see tomorrow's list! : D

[and, in case you wondered, you really have been tagged!)

Jolynn said...

That is great! I love that. Especially the shopping one. That is hilarious. I think I may be overly susceptible to marketing ploys. :)

sage said...

I don't think I'll touch this...

on another subject, when will the Tigers start winning again--I finished up my memories of '68, which included the Tigers (and I was a Cardinal fan then)

Karen said...

Thanks everyone for your comments!

sage~ that's exactly why I am holding back on posting the Tigers here... I'm waiting to see if they're for real and so far, they're not proving themselves worthy. The '68 Tigers were awesome!

Now if you want to talk about the Pistons or Red Wings, you're on!!

sage said...

Sorry, my basketball season ended when Carolina lost out in the NCAA tourney... And I don't understand hockey, but maybe I'll dig out an old newspaper column I wrote a few years ago about hockey and baseball, the Stanley Cup, the Red Wings and the Carolina whatevertheyare.

I thought you'd like my remembrance of the '68 series, but notice that none of us wanted to be like the Tigers! (but then again, they won, something I wasn't doing a lot of that year)