Now for some light-hearted Friday Fun!


1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
senseless acts of self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry, I forgot your name, too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
24. Earth is full, go home.
25. Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes .. Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?




Eli Blake said...

How about (this from a male perspective):

1. Go win the lottery, then I might find you interesting.

2. You remind me of the pet kitten I got when I was a kid. It got that wasting disease and died.

3. Wait! Stay here for a few minutes, I'll need somebody to go dump the trash when I finish this report.

4. You look like you might be the kind of guy my lawyer told me to go out and find.

5. Could you do me a favor and reach up on the top shelf and get my folder? I saw a centipede up there yesterday and I don't want to get bit.

6. I quit smoking yesterday. You're giving me some ideas about what I could still do with a butane lighter.

7. Are you registered for the draft?

8. How much life insurance do you carry?

9. Do you like my nail polish? I bet it would be great for eye-gouging.

10. So tell me, what do you know about necromancy?

Jack K. said...

karen, ROTFLMAO. They are ALL hilarious, but my favorite is.........#...............27.

shytte! To think how much of my life I have wasted believing that.

eli, your comments are too much. LMAO.

Jolynn said...

You are depriving some village of an idiot. That is awesome!

Zephra said...

#1 is by far the best.

From Michele's.

puppytoes said...

i lovelovelove 'em all... but well this day was a total waste of make-up, do they ever shut up on your planet? and look in my eyes... do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit are my fav's. tho' i'm also with jack on #27!

too too too funny! thanks for the hearty laugh! : D

Eli Blake said...

I like #27 too, but I like # 14 more.

Jack K. said...

Eli, 14 is just as funny.

Bubble wrap anyone?

Hale McKay said...

'Why are you here breathing my oxygen?'
...Great post, Karen. I liked so many of them, I don't think I could single out just a few.

Fred said...

#29 is my favorite. I can hardly wait for the laughs when I casually use that line. As for the other ones, I'll steal them, too.

Great list, Karen.

Karen said...

Thanks everyone for your interesting and funny comments and additional suggestions... would these all be labeled *politically correct*?