Politically Correct Terms For Males:

He does not have a beer gut: He develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He does not hog the blankets; He is: Thermally unappreciative.
He is not unsophisticated; He is: Socially malformed.
He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from: Reverse bulimia.
He is not a sex machine; He is: Romantically automated.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; He has: Swine empathy.
He is not quiet; He is a: Conversational minimalist.
You do not undress him with your eyes; you have an: Introspective pornographic moment.
He is not afraid of commitment; He is: Monogamously challenged.
He does not have a fabulous rear end; He has achieved: Buttocks perfection.
He is not stupid; He suffers from: Minimal cranial development.
He does not get lost all the time; He discovers: Alternative destinations.
He is not balding; He is in: Follicle regression.
You do not buy him a drink; you initiate an: Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange.
He does not fart and belch; He is: Gastronomically expressive.
His jeans are not too tight; He is: Anatomically under circulated.
He is not a Redneck; He is a: Genetically-related American.
You do not kiss him; you become: Facially conjoined.
He is not a cradle robber; He prefers: Generationally differential relationships.
He does not get falling down drunk; He becomes: Accidentally horizontal.
He does not act like a total jerk; He develops a: Case of rectal-cranial inversion.
He is not short; He is: Anatomically compact.
He does not have a rich daddy; He is a: Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He does not constantly talk about cars; He has a: Vehicular addiction.
He does not have a hot body; He is: Physically combustible.

Feel free to add your expertise to the above list!